will you F**king say to yourself-> “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now” or not ??

ok it’s been a long time since i told sh*t abt me which no one cares but here i am dr19 just pass you time a little more smoothly i’ll try …………………..and this is a long boring story read it only if u have TIME(which is not that precious anyway),Guts and hate 6’0′ clock alarms and love the smell of biryani …….. cronotic_sad-guy

  if ur the complete opposite then plz dont continue          …………………..and well i’ve been busy ….actually nope i was f’ing lazy and didnt hav much interest to even type a letter and why this sudden motivation well get ready i’ll tell u so i was going through my life normally (i.e depressed and feeelin lyk a loser) and i got an idea well more like a forced necessity anyway i decided to just let go of all the things like all the crushes on girls with who i have no F’ing chance in hell ,all the grudges (and by grudges i mean being pissed off at people who took my gta ,nfs,COD game cd’s and didnt even care to return them those ********)  and all the pressure on maintaing your percentage in college well to all this i said “F**k it ” and jus tried to give myself a fresh start but hey life is a b***ch and it keeps coming back saying it’s not so easy to do that well i said in barney stinson style (challenge F**king accepted) and jus kept reminding myself your new now be adult about it etc… 

so the next day i get up its 9 am f**k i’m late but i told myself “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now..”

i go to shower no hot water the geyser is not working i’m about to swear but i remind myself “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now” and i shower with ice cold water i catch a bus and reach coll by 10:30 and then go to the class obviously the teacher is a nice lady she makes me stand outside for just about 55 mins and lets me inside da class now all my class mates are watching me like i F**king murdered someone and standing for a trial and dont even know me …hey you idiots i’ve been with u for over 2 years no need to act surprised and then all the classes go on lunch hour comes taking out my box to eat and surprise its empty my lame ass 4nds finished it during the class and i fight wid them (verbally of course) for over an hour i’m hungry and lunch is over and classes start just another 10 mins remaining for the last bell and my crush asks me my data structures note book to complete (i think to myself its normal she just asked me as a 4nd nothin more and my mind keeps telling my heart dude dont overestimate urself etc)  , but mine’s incomplete so since i am proud and have to protect my ego i say i didnt bring it she says oh so u give to all other girls but wont give to me ah i dnt even want it u selfish f***er (not so extreme i intensified it but the meaning is same) and i think what? is she f**king with me ri8 now how did it go from “hey please can i have your notebook?” to “f**k off I dont want it ” in 5 minutes  girls ah?? wat can we do?? hard to understand em?

             but i say to myself “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now” dont get pulled into it i say no i didnt even give it to anyone since its F***KING INCOMPLETE she turns to her side ignoring me well the class is finished i go to the bus stop bus comes i climb wid ma 4nds no place to sit gr8 !!! and i stand for 40 mins my stop comes i get down i cant even walk my legs are F’ing tired and somehow i make my way to the hostel and try to sleep which i can’t becoz i thought i would be satisfied after saying to myself whole day “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now” and acting like an adult but i feel like sh*t and i’m in the same situation as in yesterday when i was a complete ass but i decide maybe its slow maybe this adult sh*t take time but in a week oh it got worse you dont even wanna know what  happened on the last day but there was a ‘teacher ,a 4nd,an exam ,and my answer sheet in his hand’ involved so…..u figure it out anyway i thought f**k this shit and started to be the old guy myself who i know very well the teaser,who does stupid things ,who gets jealous when a boy talks to his gf (by gf i mean over his imaginary grl 4nd who is just a 4nd ) ,who thinks a girl loves him if she likes his post,who thinks that girls is  a soul mate if she comments on his status ,and who gets caught eating in the class wid 4nds ,bunking wid 4nds, and double meanings everything he hears and keeps lauging like an idiot and doesnt care how many girls reject him gets sad for a while but since i am f**king stupid keeps trying again and again (after all my inspiaration is JOhhny bravo B-)  …  ) and cheats in exam even though he knows the answers so 

…. you see stop telling yourself “its ok be positive your new and better version of yourself now” be what u always were thats what makes you who you are now and woory about now not future not past but the F**king present and remember ” if the past actions made you who you are  now then your present actions actions can make you who you want to be in the future “…

           and finally we are living in a generation sadly but truly where instead of people being loved and things to be used ….we are using people and loving things … and on that f**king boring note this is dR19 signing off…….B-) 😉 😛


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