iT’s cOmPliCaTeD(i gUeSs)


  • hmm so yeah almost completed with c prog and basics of c++ and web design well enough boring shit konchem mana bathuk goorinchi kuda kodadham deniki ee blog create chesindi malla so you see i have a friend who is a girl (girl friend kaadu mind it) anyway i met her when i was in high school and then got diverted and then i again met her after my second year so i hope she’s not reading this but a little part in me is hopin that she would read this so wateva happens happens anyway i had a crush on her and after i met her again before engineering we chatted obviously abt where v were wat we were doing which coll and all those things for a few weeks but after that v wanted to chat well me but v didnt have anything more to chat so then v started chatting about wat v did all day wat v were doing and well i knew abt their family and she knew abt mine and this went on for another month or 2 r8 so wve gotten to know each other pretty well and still we were just friends based on some forwarded messages she sent me on friendship and this and that so this went on and it was like this we sometimes dont chat for days and then somedays chat till 4 or even 5 in the morning and i dont know if she chats like this with anyone or just wid me i hope its just me so obviously at that tym b4 coming into engineering she was the only girl i chatted with lyk evday others girls toh normal only small talk or wen they hav a bday or some festival but i used to chat wid only dat girl evday and weneva phone beeps or rings i always think dat may b her let it b her plz and next phase i dont know if v bcame more close or grown apart but she started telling me that this guy proposed or 2day this guy proposed and dis guy did this and that and i didnt know wat i should reply inside obviously toh i wanna kick those guys but then i would come of as some petty jealous guy so i controlled and kept replying hmmm ok achaaa so i thought i handled it like a gentleman and then i thought why would she tell me these things at first i thought maybe shes trying to make me jealous(manaku antha scene ledanukoooo kaani anni angles consider chesukovala kadaa) but i wasnt sure but 4m  then i started to wonder what she thinks of me how do i look in her mind wat kind of an impression i make whenever i tell a joke (it obviously depends on the joke but im talking technically guys or gals you get it) so then i started to send subtle hints that i like her 4m then i decided im gonna try 4m my side watever her image f me maybe and subtle hints like telling shes looking nyc in dat profile pic and how many guys heart did you break 2day and things like that but she used to blush i guess  again , but she didnt show so i thought eemeki illa aithe pancheyatley manamey koncham penchali ani i started telling her she has swt qualities and she was sweet too at first she didnt mind i guess she simply kept saying thank you i thought nyc shes getting my message but idk wat happened after few days well few weeks but after sometime when i again said she was sweet she got angry or upset i dont know but it was full on she said no im not sweet and im honest and say everything to their face and things lyk that then i asked if she was ok nd wat happnd ? and after some iirritating she told some guy proposed her and she said no and that guy got upset and something like that i dnt remember and she said she felt bad nd dats y she was upset well then i consoled her na its nothing lyk that he knew the risks or things that would happen when he proposed you its not your fault you dont think of him like that but inside toh for me it was diwali everywhere and i was happy but didnt show it and from then she didnt have that same ha ha thnk you really no” feeling when i said she was sweet so i stopped it and while this was happening she sent me a wrong msg who she was abt to send to her friend boy obviously so i asked she said it was some senior and that and this so from then i was sure she chatted with other boys obviously i wasnt the only one even b4 i knew she chatted but i jus how to say this i didnt accept it anyway 4m then idk wat happened we stopped chatting for days b4 our non-chatting period was a day that grew into days and weeks and even months so then in b/w these three months i got into an engineering coll and now in hostel which im now typing from so well so from then we chatted irregularly and b4 toh she would call me dear now and again idk if she calls all her friends lyk dat or not but at first it was just weird for me bcoz idk wat is her mindset about me shes hot n cold i guess one time she’s calling me all dear this dear that and other times just friends so idk if she knows or not but thats the way gf’ and bf talk i thought but then this is the highlight raksha bandan came and she called me brother and told me she wanted to tie rakhi i didnt knw how to react at first i thought i should retaliate and act like i dont think of you as a sister or something lyk dat but well i didnt bcoz there are a few other things i considered which are not that imp anyway i thought well na if i say it im gonnal lose a friend or something lyk dat so i thought to  do it a little subtle so i acted confused and asked her realllllllllly hmmm i didnt think i was lyk a brother ntg im just surprised dats all and that ended there she didnt comment anything and i stopped talking abt it i guess so one thing thats surprising is does she really not get that i lyk her even a little or is she actually acting dumb and its not like im dat gud luking im just not ugly and her well she’s a little on the fairer side and i think a little out of my league too ill accept it anyway if she is doesnt really knw or didnt get the subtle yet clear hints then i should try a little harder or if she is acting dumb as if she really doesnt knw wat is happening then i cant help it i guess im fighting a lost cause so thats the problem idk if she it is the first or second thing yeah i knw theres only one way to find out just tell her really wat she means 2 me and you guys/gals mayb thinking amey single ahh or is she goin out wid anybody does she hav an interest on someone idk mayb or maybe not im guessing mostly no she doesnt then u may think then tell her wat hav you got to lose r8? na i cant i dont hav areason but thats just it i jus cant i think i gav her all the light hints i can and if she really knows and doesnt react and ignore then i think its better to leave it at there if she doesnt think of me like dat but again i cant even b lyk dat so dats da big mess i created for myself idk wat she thinks of me and i cant eitheer tell her or not tell her so im torn idk wat 2 do but im crazy abt her and however she mayb she always luks the same cute girl i knew 4m when i was in highschool so yeah after that raksha bandan we chatted a little but not much just talking for talking sake no interest at all then v completely stopped chatting and then i got into an engg coll and went off to hostel and to tell i started to not take that much mention here na i couldnt get over her obviously i just didnt think of her most of the tym technically i got used to that and thought well it was lyk a one tym thing and then after a few days in hostel i log in fb and shes online too and she asks hey wassup? and then i give the update and she says hmmm and says all the best and i say same to you and thats it and the next day im just finishing ma homwrk its 23:35 and i get a nsg 4m her after so many days and its just some forwarded msg all ri8 but but even so why did she hav to send it man i tclimbed that wall little by little succesfully and wateva progress i made i got pulled back in and all thats lost now again i like her more than ever and even hate her a little 4 playing wid me and after that msg i obviously replieed back sayin hey still up?,and after so many days wassup? and she told wat was happening at her coll and then she asked me wat abt you ah you should say how is ur new lyf ur hostel lyf and i told her it was alri8 havin loads of fun and shit and its nyc and i tol dome incidents we laughed well i laughed i was laughing lyk some idiot all the tym i was chatin wid her ma room frnds wer askin “endi sangathi ahhh?” etc  so well i laughed i dont knw abt her i told few jokes im guesing she was atleast smiling so lyk dat we chatted till 1 and i even told hmm i thought you 4got me and she says na i didnt and i told her it was nyc talkin wid her after so much tym and she said the same and then gud n8 and then we started chatin 4m next day onwards she said gdmrng and we chat till we o to coll and then start chatin again after coll ends so r8 now its again in that phase and 2 days back i aven talked to her one night oh how i missed her voice (swt) so yeah dats the situation and dis tym i decided to wait a little and then lets c im gonna tell her i guess nd u knw  most of the tym i wonder is it some game we are playing like who proposes or tells the other how we feel but thats just my crush side talking(manaku antha scene kuda naa) or shes just a really gud friend and yeah she told me i was her best friend i thnk mostly the prob wid me is i look meaning in evthing lyk if she sends some forwarded msg i actually think it means something and thinks its for me so my overestimation is wat got me in this in the first place so maybe there really is nothing im definitely imagining things so who knows but this time im gonna ignore all the forwarded msgs and just chat wid her like a friend and act like evrythings normal and were jus friends so two can play at that game but i just wanted to put dis  shit some where other than my mind so there you go and idk i think some of my friends can figure out who she is and if she reads this she’ll definitely know its her but mostly i dont want her to read or mayb i want her too idk dude this shits confusing and complicated and yup thats it gotta go guys/gals have to study a little dis is doctor19 signin off catch you next time with some other borin crazy shit 😉
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